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What actually happens in a first session
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
What Your Body Is Asking For: Meeting Anxiety with the Right Response
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
When anxiety shows up, many of us turn to our thoughts. They may spiral into what if questions, worst case scenarios, or self judgments. We try to reason with them, distract ourselves, or push them away. Sometimes that helps. Often, it doesn't.
That's because anxiety isn’t just about thinking. It's your nervous system responding to a situation, whether the stressor feels big or small.
The concept of the window of tolerance describes a range where our nervous system allows us to manage emotions, think clearly, and respond to challenges effectively. When anxiety intensifies, it can push us outside of that range, triggering a survival response in the body.
Sometimes this appears as overactivation, the body feels tense, overly alert, or restless. Other times, it shows up as underactivation, when the body feels heavy, numb, or disconnected. Both are normal and protective responses to stress.
The first step towards regulation isn't trying to control the feeling; it's about reconnecting with your body.
Many of us have heard, often out of necessity, to tune out our bodily sensations. We push through fatigue, ignore tension, and prioritize productivity. Over time, this makes it harder to recognize the signals our nervous system is sending.
Reconnecting can start simply. Pause and notice what your body is experiencing.
You might ask:
- How does my chest feel? Tight, heavy, or relaxed?
- How is my breathing? Shallow, steady, or slow?
- Am I moving faster or slower than usual?
- What other sensations am I noticing right now?
There is no need to judge your observations. The goal is awareness.
Once you notice your state, the next question is: What does my body need right now?
- If you're feeling overactivated, your body may need slowing down and grounding. Try steadying your breath, pressing your feet firmly into the floor, placing your hand on your chest, or stepping away from the stimulation.
- If you're feeling underactivated, your body may need gentle activation. Get up and stretch, splash cold water on your face, turn on music, or step outside for fresh air.
The shift is from asking, “How do I stop this feeling?” to “How can I support my body right now?”
Over time, this builds trust with yourself. Anxiety becomes less about personal weakness and more about information. It tells you when your body or nervous system feels unsafe, overwhelmed, or depleted.
Responding with curiosity instead of criticism gradually expands your window of tolerance. Regulation becomes less about forcing calm and more about developing a responsive relationship with yourself.
Anxiety will still arise. That's part of being human. But when you learn to listen and respond to your body's cues, you're no longer fighting your nervous system. You're working alongside it.