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What actually happens in a first session
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
Learning to be Kind to Yourself: The Power of Self-Compassion
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
In today’s fast-paced world, we often extend kindness and patience to others while reserving criticism and judgment for ourselves, but what if you treated yourself with the same empathy and care you offer to a friend?
That’s the heart of self-compassion—a powerful tool that nurtures mental resilience, emotional balance, and personal growth. Whether you’re navigating a setback, feeling overwhelmed, or simply trying to keep up, self-compassion helps you recover and move forward—not by pushing harder, but by softening inwardly.
Self-Compassion Quick Self-Assessment
Take a moment to reflect on how you respond to your own challenges. Rate each statement from 1 (Almost Never) to 5 (Almost Always):
- I’m kind to myself when I’m struggling or feel inadequate: ______
- I try to see my failures as part of being human: ______
- When I fail at something, I do not criticize myself harshly: ______
- I’m mindful of my emotions without being swept away by them: ______
- I do not feel isolated when I fail: ______
- I give myself the same care I would offer to a friend: ______
Score:
25–30: High self-compassion
18–24: Moderate self-compassion
Below 18: Opportunity to grow
How to Grow Your Self-Compassion
1. Practice the “Friend Test”
Ask yourself, “If a friend were feeling this way, what would I say to them?” Then offer those same words to yourself. This helps close the gap between how you treat others and how you treat yourself.
2. Name Your Inner Critic—Then Disarm It
Give your self-critical voice a name. This helps you separate your identity from your inner critic. Respond with curiosity, not judgment.
3. Try a Self-Compassion Break
In moments of stress or failure, pause and remind yourself:
“This is a moment of suffering.”
“Suffering is part of life.”
“May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
Or another statement that feels supportive to you.
Remember, self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook. It’s about giving yourself the care you need to keep going—not because you’re flawed, but because you’re human. Start small. Notice your inner voice. Talk to yourself like someone you love.
And remember: You are worthy of kindness, especially your own.
Leanne Eby
Leanne brings nearly 20 years of frontline experience and specializes in supporting individuals of all ages navigating anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma. With advanced training in psychology and a particular focus on anxiety disorders, she draws on CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and EMDR to provide personalized, compassionate care. She also offers creative, child-centred therapy tailored to children's unique needs, interests, and developmental stages.
