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What actually happens in a first session
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
The Power of Self-Soothing: Creating Your Own Comfort Kit
Most people arrive at the first appointment carrying two things: whatever brought them, and the worry that they will not know how to say it. Here is the whole hour, in plain terms, so one of those can be put down before you walk in.
Self-soothing is crucial in helping us regulate our emotions and return to a relaxed state after stressful, overwhelming, or anxiety-provoking events. Research has shown that engaging in self-soothing can slow impulsive urges, decrease symptoms of stress, anxiety, and panic, and increase our ability to tolerate pain and distress.
As a clinician and a working mom of three young children, I am faced daily with stressful and emotional situations. One of my favourite ways to cope is by using the DBT technique of creating a self-soothing kit filled with items that bring me a sense of comfort.
Why Create a Self-Soothing Kit?
We often experience a sense of comfort when a familiar song plays on the radio or when we smell a scent that reminds us of a happy memory. However, we don’t always think to intentionally engage our senses as a way to self-regulate. Creating a self-soothing kit is a simple and effective way to manage strong, difficult, and uncomfortable emotions using all five senses. As the name suggests, the idea of the kit is to gather items in a box that can help you self-soothe when feeling upset. Having these items readily available when distress arises can be a powerful tool to ground yourself and bring your thoughts back to the present moment—a key aspect of mindfulness.
How to Create Your Own Self-Soothing Kit
When working with clients, I often guide them through brainstorming items that bring them comfort. Once they’ve chosen their items, they assemble their kit at home. You can also personalize your kit by decorating the box or container to make it feel even more special.
Experiment with different items to see what works best for you. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Vision – Soothing Things to See
- Photos of loved ones or pets
- A picture of your favourite place
- A calming candle flame
- A beautiful flower
- A soft stuffed animal
- A glitter jar
- An inspirational quote card
Smell – Comforting Scents
- A bottle of essential oil (lavender, peppermint, or citrus)
- Your favourite fragrance or body spray
- A scented candle
- A stick of cinnamon or vanilla bean
- Scented hand lotion or soap
Touch – Textures That Calm
- A stress ball or fidget toy
- A cozy blanket
- A soft, fuzzy pair of slippers
- Smooth, creamy hand lotion
- Play-Doh or kinetic sand
Taste – Flavors That Soothe
- Peppermint gum or strong mints
- Flavored lip balm
- Hard candies (e.g., Werther’s Originals, lollipops)
- A warm cup of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate
Sound – Audio That Relaxes
- A curated playlist of calming music
- A small white noise machine
- A meditation or guided relaxation recording
- A singing bowl or chime
- Nature sound apps (rainfall, ocean waves, birds chirping)
- A voice note from a loved one
Final Thoughts
Creating a self-soothing kit is a simple but effective way to care for yourself during moments of distress. Whether you’re managing daily stress or coping with stronger emotions, having a tangible collection of comfort items can help ground you and bring you back to the present.
Take some time to put together your own kit and explore what works best for you. You deserve to feel comforted and supported.
Leanne Eby
Leanne brings nearly 20 years of frontline experience and specializes in supporting individuals of all ages navigating anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma. With advanced training in psychology and a particular focus on anxiety disorders, she draws on CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and EMDR to provide personalized, compassionate care. She also offers creative, child-centred therapy tailored to children's unique needs, interests, and developmental stages.
